Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Just Another Day. Not. (Part 2)

So it wasn't just another day after all.

 As in, day was crappy. We found out that we've been allotted all crappy teachers and basically I don't think I'm going to go to college much this semester because of that.

But best part of the day was that I found my favorite professor D (yes the scary one, who makes us work like donkeys and other beasts of burden, my fellow scorpio at college), told him that i was devastated that he isn't taking any classes with us this sem and we ended up talking about stuff thats been going on in my mind, about how i'm confused right now, about the future etc etc.

After talking to him, i realised how much i admire him and that i'm in complete awe of him. Its for people like him that make this course so amazing and inspiring.

He's like the best. He's so cool. Yet he's the scariest person I've met. But he's someone who makes you want to do something in life.

Its an honour to be his student.

Just Another Day. Not.

So, today is going to be the first day of the fourth year of my college life. I have to sleep for 4 and a half hours now and wake up to today. It might seem like just any day but  frankly its not. Its like one of those 'small-step-for-man-huuuuge-step-for-Tejal' kinda days. If I start, I might list out all the things, good and bad, that have happened to me in the last three years and bore the hell out of you, my dear reader, and so, I'm not going into details.

So, lets just say i'm a lil psyched about growing up all this, I think its too soon, I mean, what do I know about architecture anyway, I cant be like a FOURTH YEAR STUDENT already, can I?

So, I'm like kinda freaked out, in a not-happy sorta way (erm) and I know this is crazy, it cant really get any worse than it already is, can it? (famous last words,they call 'em).

So, I'm just saying, that maybe I'm not ready for this. Then again, I might honestly never be ready for this ever.

So, maybe this is a good thing. Maybe one has to tell that Inner Voice to shut up, stop being so ultra cynical  and let you take chances once in a while.

So, this year, I'm going to give myself another chance; I'm not going to give up so easily :)

Sunday, July 04, 2010

It's All About You.

I don't understand you. I don't know why you call when you do, I don't know why you don't call when you don't.

I don't understand what makes you smile suddenly and I don't understand why you don't respond abruptly.I don't know why we click the way we do and I don't know why we differ the way we do.

I don't understand what I mean to you nor do I understand what you mean to me. Sometimes you're just a very pleasant memory, other times you're just too painful to think about.

I don't understand why you suddenly waltz back into my life just when I'm about to forget you and then I certainly don't understand why you disappear again leaving me confused and angry and waiting, waiting for you,again.

Sometimes I think I've had enough. That you should go away for good so that I don't have to say goodbye to you again and again. Other times, I just wish you would stay and never leave ever. 

In some ways, I hate you more than I've hated anyone. In other ways, I miss you more than I've ever missed anyone.