Cross My Heart !

So, wat is da whole JEE bout?
Sittin in da hall..wit bout 50 other kids..tryin to crack a question paper meant to make way for ur future?
ok..this is an honest confession..how i felt while givin IIT-JEE..prolly da worst exam in my entire life.. it was devastatin..
hmm..so does it require a mention here..dat i never planned for IIT? dat my studies wer never JEE oriented? dat i wasted las two years in i-dunno-doin-wat?
hmm..i think not.
so..talkin bout las two years...lots of stuff has changed.. movin outta school has been da most difficult phase i guess..
Mistakes. dats wat da las two years wer filled of. Mistakes.
Worse, i realised this in jan end-feb beginnin 07.
I dun blame anybody bt myself for all dat i've done, n today hav got da courage to face it n accept dat, it was my mistake.
Not dat i knowingly did wat i did [duh? it was a mistake rite? :( ].
If i list out wat all wrong i did..this post wud b an infinite one..so basically, in short, i lost focus, took life for granted, wondered y i took up science, n brooded dat i was stuck at 89% in my tenth boards n lost hope.
yes, while readin it, one mite feel wat a silly silly girl i am.. but..dats unfortunately HOW i am!
In Feb, i remember cryin each day.. suddenly realizin how much i dint kno..how much i had to do..how much i had lost.. suddnly da prospect of Flunkin occured to me [ok..this was a bit too much i accept :D ]
but then..cryin wasnt a total waste of tym..it made me realise wat had to b done..
i felt soooooooo foolish.. lik everythin was outta my control! one month (wit only 28 days dat too) n two years' course!
Sheesh!
But i did it..sumhow..n managed to scrap thru my boards... honestly..i mite NOT get near 90 at all but i think i'll manage an 80 (i sure hope i do!)
N this wudnt hav been possible witout these amazin ppl!
(in random order)

Abhu- My Guide *smiles* (i kno ur smilin too :P)
yes, Abhu was my guide..suddenly i felt at sea..so much to do..so lil tym..if it hadnt been for her i wud hav never got my confidence back!
She taught me a lotta stuff.. n da fact dat all was not lost n if i dint study then..i mite lose wat i'm capable of gettin! Thanks girl! i owe this one to u!

Monty- My Light *grins*
yes, Monty was my light in da truest sense..she's soooooo full of optimism n joy n happiness n hope dat she induces it to u! She helped me soo much in thinkin positively n thinkin in da rite way..ppl say battles r won in da mind..well she showed me how! Thank u so much snehoodeeeeeeee!!!

Tintin- My Instructor *heehee*
lol..yea Tintin was my instructor teelin me wat to study wen to study n stuff (though dat doesnt make sense coz she's in commerce) but still..v used to discuss wat v wud study together n sort of a goal-reachin strategy! (we wud decide to call uo each other only wen v wud hav finished a particular portion..hehe..n this wud me bout 6 times a day :D ) Thank u sweeeetttiieeeee!

LF- My Mentor *smirks* :P
yes..rite from talkin bout everyday to wishin me before every exam to askin my experince each day..LF's been my mentor truly!:) :) :) i remember callin LF in da middle of da nite n cryin (read howlin)my heart out.. n suddenly dogs started barkin madly around him..n he was lik- See, even dogs r affected by ur cryin!!! Stop cryin baby! hehe..after dat, i think twice before cryin! :D Thanksssssssssss

Mom- My strength *gets all nostalgic*
yes..she dint mind wen i told her i was gonna flunk.. she said- ok u'll jus hav to giv a supplementary next year *smiles wickedly*..lol..
n wen i kept repeatin 'dun expect nethin me' she wud maintain a smile n say - ok
(now she tells me how much she wanted to laugh at my face.. thank god u dint mom!)
can i tel u thanks too? :)

My Net Frens- Raghu..who kept postin all feb long writin really inspirational posts! u rock dude!
Aayush- for sendin me a msg sayin - Wateva happens, how much ever other things mite change..i wont! thank u sooo much for dat..it really meant a lot to me :D

n To all those ppl who kept callin me in Feb n sayin those encouragin words! Thanks a ton folks!
n yes, 'A', my lil bro..who kept irritatin me but stil stopped me from cryin most of da tym by annoyin me so dat i wud giv up grief n start scoldin him bigtym! Thanks re.. u've suffered most ! (mind u, i shout a lot. a lot. a lot.)
(i hope this doesnt sound lik an oscar-receivin Thank-u-speech bt i really really really wanted to thank u folks!)

So..amongst other things, um sittin for tons of JEEs n hope to make it in atleast one of them :D
oh n i forgot to add my recent inspiration.. Mr. Adnan Sami for losin 109 kgs!!!! whoa man...now um not very nervous bout losin da abominable weight dat i hav gained durin las two months..stayin at home n hoggin! Adnan mannn u hav sum guts !!! literally!

Until next tym.. Chao!