New n Improved !

Happy New Year to all! :)
Recently, I've come to realise that my blog has become a very frustrated, depressed, overworked and stressed-out person's blog. Let me inform u, that is in fact not true. hmph. There are many things that i may be. Being a pessimist is not one of 'em ;)

So here's 2009! heh! I'm sure everybody's made new resolutions.. Do share!
My resolution is to Talk less n Work more! I was never a chatterbox but whoa! all limits have been crossed by yours truly. The realisation has now dawned upon me that talking a lot reduces one's work output tremendously. So i shall not talk much and work hard. Thing is, my last year's resolution backfired majorly.. Twas 'Work hard n party harder'..bleh too much partying i tell u..too much!

Ok somehow this January I'm strongly reminded of Jan '07 and the contrast between the two.

~ Then,the thought of giving JEE's had robbed me of every tiny glint of happiness. I now want as many opportunities to prove myself n to improve.

~ My priorities in life have changed drastically. From just wanting to pass somehow in the board exams, i now want to be the best in everything.

~ My friends have mostly swapped their relationship status :P Happily-single ones have become committed *ahem ahem* n the happily-committed ones are now single *ahem*.
I'm still single. But now I'm one of the last few of this extinct species. Damn.

~ I fear I'm losing my innocence. This cruel world is changing me into a spiteful and bad-tempered sort of a person. I miss my 'sweet-lil-darling-angel' days :(

~ From being the subdued lil creature whom ppl generally refer to as 'mouse-type', I'm now referred to as a 'popular' person who's got friends wherever she goes. (however 'friends' here refers to mere acquaintances..i cannot boast of having many true friends)

~ My best friend is still my best friend but other ppl/friends have changed their status. Now there are many category of Friends like Perennial, Seasonal and Annual.
Perennial are the ones who are there all along, Seasonal are the ones who are one's friends at particular times n then vanish and then appear again, Annual are the ones that wish u diligently on your bday,new year,diwali,christmas etc. Apart from these, they forget u completely.

~ I've done most of the stuff that i had imagined i would do in college so now there's nothing left but to study ;)

~ From being mostly a singer in all kinda competitions- school or otherwise, me has turned into dancer these days. From frontstage-fright to frontstage-addiction. Sigh. Where are my backstage days?

bleh. There are many other changes. i cant possibly list out all.
n btw ppl who did read my previous post, nothin to worry about folks! Me did the second submission too! exams are now over and life is not all that bad anymore :P

*Ahem* I've been talking too much again haven't I? Damn!

No.

Its December already?
:O
Where did my third semester go? :( How come i hav exams in exactly 10 days ? :((
So finally, the worst sem out of my whole three sems of college life is comin to a tragic end. Worst because my insincerity towards studies has stooped to unimaginable levels. I've had infinite fun this sem :D [er.. :(] Somehow finished my 'Design-Major' Submissions. However i hav no idea how 'Design-Minor' will be completed. Sad part is i'm not even interested anymore. Wonder how this happened. I just want this sem to end. I promise to study harder next time. I've made a million mistakes in the last three-four months. Can't really handle reality anymore. I was happy in my sweet lil imaginary world. Can't even remember how i ended up comin out of it.
Guess the whole 'Pride comes before a fall' thing is taking a toll on me :(

I was so happy.*Sigh* Second sem was lik a beautiful dream. Fests. Positive interaction with seniors *ahem*. Fresher's party. Becoming Miss Fresher was like too cool for me. Hmph. Then Exams..bludy how did i end up standing second in class i dunno. Entering 3rd sem with such a party mood has got me into so much trouble :(
I feel like running away. But then that wont solve anything coz i'll have to come back :( I think i had forgotten that i'm not just an engineering student.. i'm an architecture student. Damn the difference between the two.

I think i'm going crazy. I want two different things at the same time. Want to write this post. But am stoppin 100 times and wondering why the hell i'm writin it. Whats the point? But then whats the point of doing anythin in this world? Its completely pointless isnt it? ot is it? :O

I lost my very close friend this sem. All bcoz of a misunderstanding created by other people. He hates me now. In my defense(which i could never tell him) i'd like to say i was misquoted, misinterpreted and misjudged. I dunno if i deserve our friendship but i definitely dont deserve your hatred :((

I'm in quite a state of denial and dont want to accept anything. God i'm so scared. I'm turning into someone i dont wanna be. I dont wanna change but i am.

For the first time in my life, i have so many regrets.

Gosh, this is the most depressing post i've ever written :(

DON’T creep me out? Please?

Ok I can’t understand why people watch horror movies? NO, wait... I can’t understand why people MAKE horror movies???

I mean??? What is your bloody logic? U tell me Adrenalin rush... I tell u Bull shit. Hmph. Why do u want to complicate your already complicated and stressful life?? Movies are meant for entertainment, NOT for harassment.
So my point is: this is what I think and the reason why I don’t watch horror movies. Ever. If u don’t agree with me...too bad... please keep creeping yourself out. Just keep me away ok. The only horror movie I had technically seen in the theater was Bhoot, which I dint quite see because I had my eyes and ears covered by some helpful devices gifted to me by god- my hands. I only opened them when I had confirmed that it was day again and it would be perhaps a lil watch-able.
*Ahem* This story has been narrated time n again to anyone and everyone who know me. Somehow my batch mates, my so-called best friends Sim and I (henceforth to be referred as Aqua) came to know bout it. U see Sim n aqua claim to be my well wishers in all times but after yesterday, I beg to differ. So they all decided to go to some crazy movie ‘1920’ as some class got cancelled and we are generally pretty ‘jobless’ people. Hmph.
I had very nicely distanced out myself from it and not even talks of an apparent hunk of a hero could lure me. Suddenly I found myself cornered by Sim n Aqua. Ahem when they did not quite succeed in convincing me they brought in reinforcements. Enter Kingkong(KK) and Rambo(R) (yes very weird code names... the stories which led to them are weirder still).. U see KK is someone u can never say no to. Yea ok maybe he’s not a dictator but he’s a smooth talker. A very good one. Always makes me accept stuff. Sheesh. I HAVE to do something bout him. And there’s R.. phew..God save all the girls on this planet.
So between the four of them, they literally dragged me to watch this 1920 freak show with promises that they would let me close my eyes when I wanted and that even though so many of us were going, they would sit beside me. U see this is how I was fooled. No. Its not that they didn’t keep all of their promises, they did sit beside me..We sat in the order KK Sim Me R Aqua..yea that’s true, right in the middle.

Honestly, I don’t even want to review the movie. I didn’t like it. But then its not my kinda movie anyway so don’t be prejudiced on my account. Go if u want to but don’t say I dint warn ya.
I watched the whole movie this time. Not because I wanted to. Because KK Sim n R wouldn’t leave my hands. They kept on holding them and kept me hostage right there in my seat. There were many moments during the movie when I was looking at the screen horrified and all three of them looking at me, watching me struggle with my hands. We created quite a scene. When my hands weren’t ‘chained’ I was made to hold all the popcorn chips etc so that I could achieve my goal. Aqua however was as scared as me so she wasn’t among the conspirators. Thankfully (I think) the movie was preetttttttttty boring in the middle when all of them got irritated. A special mention for the climax scene.. it was hilarious. I mean it wasn’t supposed to be but then I guess we had all had enough.
All this in front of a complete stranger. Ok a friend’s friend about whom u have heard a lot and so has he about u doesn’t make him any less a stranger. He was sitting beside KK and was witness to each and every antics of mine. I later found out he thought I was cute. Dude, on a different day, I would have loved the compliment. My behaviour was anything but cute. But u were cute though :P



Btw, wtf? Movie shows Architects being called to the mansion and them being killed brutally one by one. And here we were, all of us, prospective architects watching mass murder of our own people. SHEESH. Good choice my friends. And hunk of a hero??? What the hell?? He might be good-looking but he can’t act! And the leading lady..the less said about her, the better. Naa actually don’t listen to me. I’m prejudiced anyways. As expected, my experience was horrific.

I can’t understand why people watch horror movies? NO, wait.. I can’t understand why people MAKE horror movies?

The Love-Hate Irony.

I love rains. I hate monsoons.
I love speed. I hate risks.
I love books. I hate being called a bookworm.
I love talking. I hate people who don't listen.
I love mystery. I hate suspense.
I love giving orders. I hate taking them.
I love being given the veto power. I hate listening to the word 'No'.
I love drawing. I hate painting.
I love oceans. I hate that i cant swim.
I love Saturday evenings. I hate Monday mornings.
I love working till the wee hours of morning. I hate not getting enough sleep.
I love seeing the positive side of everything. I hate the pessimistic side of me.
I love packing. I hate unpacking.
I love my college. I hate mismanagement, irresponsibility and disorganisation.
I love my friends. I hate having to say goodbye.
I love the self-created fantasy world I live in. I hate anything that's not practical.
I love being the infinitely lazy creature that i am. I hate doing nothing.
I love spontaneity. I hate impulsiveness.
I love being unmonotonous. I hate changes of any kind.
I love Hollywood. I hate it when people criticize Bollywood.
I love watching TV. I hate over-acting and in general,over-dramatic people.
I love Ducktales. I hate Shin Chan.
I love organizing events. I hate participating in any.
I love music. I hate myself for being out-of-practice.
I love listening to stories. I hate gossiping about others.
I love the small things in life. I hate the bigger picture being ignored.
I love being around people who take care of everything. I hate not being in control.
I love blogging. I hate being so irregular at it.
I love having one thousand crushes simultaneously. I hate two-timing of any kind.
I love my room. I hate chaos.
I love having so many friends. I hate having to choose between them.
I love being in love. I hate the various heartbreaks that follow.
I love being so very busy in my studies. I hate not being able to hang out with my Friends.
I love chocolates. I hate anything(or anyone)that's overly sweet.
I love C++. I hate C.
I love my city. I hate the mentality and the rigidness of the people here.
I love having an opinion on everything. I hate people being over-critical all the time.
I love things that abnormal and/or extraordinary. I hate creepy crawly stuff.
I love analysing stuff. I hate being prejudiced.
I love my name. I hate mispronunciations.
I love Google search. I hate yahoo search.


I love my blog. I hate seeing so many 'I's in it.

Right thing to do?

No don't look that surprised ! Yes, I've updated my blog :P after a century, yes but still i have :) Thing is I'm in the typical lazy blogger phase.. i keep blogging all the time in my head but I'm too lazy to type it out :(( Fine, sue me! :P
And my sincere apologies to all my blog pals who have been after my life coz I've stopped commenting on their blogs.. guys, the truth is, I've stopped Reading them too *ducks while everybody loads their guns* I'm so sorry *ahem* i shall make amends soon.. er.. hopefully *uses her drafting board to bar the gun shots*

Lately, there have been a series of circumstances that have lead me to question the whole existence of Right and Wrong. What exactly is the 'right' thing to do? The thing that we want to do or the thing that we should do? Where does one draw the line? What should be the priority? Does Service ALWAYS come before Self? Cant we, for once, not try to be perfect? Is it normal to break rules and not feel guilty..at all?
People all around are always trying to deceive. It is okay to know whats happening and not do anything about it? Sometimes its really difficult to pretend everything is fine when its absolutely not.. so should one react? If someone treats us badly, should he get that back from us? isn't that how it should be? But its not.

I may be completely wrong in my perception of these things.. Then again the question of Right and Wrong will always stand between us..

By the way, there have been some really intriguing events which one might call as wonderful coincidences. But i don't belive in words like 'coincidence' and 'by chance'. Nothing happens by chance, there is always a reason for everything. I really do belive it and also in the sayin that 'A blind God is not destiny's Architect'. Maybe not today, but someday we'll definitely find out the reason behind the occurence of everything. Its just a game, to wait and watch.

Hmmm...and on a completely different note, i would like to give some people a piece of my mind. I wish to tell them : Kindly refrain yourselves from calling me words like 'dear','sweetheart' etc in public or private whatever. This restriction however does not hold good if you happen to be my boyfriend. But since I'm happily single as of now, this applies to everybody.. aaargghh.. i don't understand it.. why why whyy do u want to creep me out??? ok occasionally use of such words (in rare situations) i can understand that but scrapping me ''hello sweetheart?'' I'm sorry I'm so NOT your darling or any body's sweetheart for that matter.. so beat it, ok? Gawd what impression are you trying to make? Its not appreciated. Really. Its not normal. And I have a name, by the way. I would prefer if u would use it, thank you very much.

Friends n Foes

Note: Some ppl might find this post nonsensical. So dont say i dint warn thee.


Once upon a time, there lived a Boy. He was like the usual fairy-tale hero..charming, gudlookin, intelligent, witty, sweet, smart..the works. However, since this is not a fairy tale..things arent perfect here. the Boy had a huuuuge crush on this Girl in his college. So whenever she was around with her friends (her 'gang' so to say) there were alwaz the special glances etc in that direction. These glances n smiles however were not noticed by the Girl, but were instead noticed by her Friend. Girl's friend now had a huuuge crush on this Boy.

Gradually, as the Girl n Boy had similar interests n stuff..one thing led to another and they started talking n became gud friends.The difference between the Boy's crush n the girl's friend's crush was that the Friend's crush was a secret but the Boy's story had leaked out in his branch n many knew bout this.. whenever the Girl n boy were seen talkin to each other..ther were many people smirking..waving..hooting.. people just randomly called out Boy's name n disappeared..poor Boy used to be totally embarrassed n the girl would be amused, thinkin this was a side-effect of being popular :P

When the Girl heard bout her friend's crush she was very happy for her friend n swore to help her in every which way.. he was a college stud after all.. n her friend was so damn pretty ..awwww... they both wud make an awesome 'item' together. Girl introduced her friend n Boy and now all three of them were gud friends..all was well :)

Now no story is complete without meddlers is it? The Boy was betrayed by a close friend who went n told the Girl everything. Girl took it lightly n laughed at the meddlers face sayin "Me n him? not possible..please dont try any cupid-giri here." Without understanding the seriousness of the situation the Girl went ahead n told her friend about the Boy's crush. Her friend reaction was quite neutral n she too laughed it off. Girl thot thats the end of the so-called 'love story'..

Next day when she went to college,walked up to her friend n waved to her ..her friend dint wave back..she just stood there looking at the girl with a weird expression..one wich said - "Of all girls in the universe..y did it hav to b YOU, my friend?" uh-oh..it was then that the girl realized what cud happen now..

She tried to cut-off all ties from the boy n started avoiding him a little.. the Boy was naturally confused n heart broken.. Girl cudnt possibly tell him bout her friend could she?... and cmon it wasnt like the Girl stopped recognizin him.. wen he smiled at her, she smiled back, dint she?

Then one day, after just two semesters of college..the girl found out that the Boy had cleared JEEs once again n was goin to another college..another city..sumwher very very far..

All the time spent..all the fun..all the teasing..everything flashed in front of her n she realized..inspite of everything else she dint do right to him..atleast he deserved an explanation.. she hopes that some day he might come to kno of wat actually happened and forgive her for choosing her friend over him. and that.. wenever she thinks of her first year in college..he will alwaz come to her mind n the first thing that hit her when she herd he was leavin was that..
She'll miss him.

Blur.

This is what happens when life moves so fast.
Everything seems blurred to me.. We had one hell of a semester this time.. i.e. if u can call it a 'semester'. 2 months 15 days dont exactly count as one whole sem do they? Specially when one's college hOsTs six damn fests in these 2.5 months :| ther's only one question.. When does one study?

Honestly, i WANT to study..for all theory papers..really i do..but with all the other drama goin on..i kinda (er..) dont.

Exactly a year ago, all kinds of people warned me bout this. They told me.. if u are goin to take up this course u havta study very hard... not only theory u havta do all kinds of stuff.. its very taxin u really need to b hardworkin ....... (..crap..) Yea but that time one is lik- Yea wateva..i'm goin to do EVERYTHING that it takes..i'm gonna prove that i hav it in me...(...more crap..).. So it turns out.. *ahem* those random people were right. I am freakin out.

Its an awesome course. But its a bit of a hair-tearin experience many times. All the fests that i mentioned..great..four of them were department fests n two were college ones..Out of these..the archi dept hosted a techfest for the very first time.. we achieved this feat in flat 12 days :D i'm tellin u..it wasnt any cakewalk.. we were given permission for this fest on the condition that not a single class wud b suspendd n not a single submission to b skipped.. Thats like saying- u need leaves but u cant get them from trees :S So finally, after a certain amount of hybridization we did manage to get the leaves..uh..the Fest ;)

N then we have Submissions. Amazin things these are..submissions. One has to make a million sheets each one takin bout six hours of non-stop work. Then there's this subject where we do all kinda of crazy stuff from buildin blocks to mouldin stuff to sculptin to case studies to designin , renderin.. :S

All this hardly leaves time (or interest) for anythin else. This post for all those people who work like us.. Crazy schedules,workin overtime n achievin stuff not possible for normal humans without any appreciation or perks but full of institute/workplace politics, tremendous backstabbing n destructive critisism.
Helllllo Real World.

Loner who?

This Valentine's day, i would like to list out top ten reasons why you should NOT go out and happily remain single.
* You can live your own life for a change.
* You don't have to be answerable for every breath that you take.
* You don't have be guilty about ANYthing that u DID or that you DID NOT do. :|
* You don't have to listen to pathetic sad songs every other day.
* You will be spared from mood swings i.e. your mood will not b OFF 25 hours a day.
* You will start tellin the truth for a change.
* You will be spared of the persistant feeling of dread and insecurity.
* You will save- Time, Energy, Tears, Emotions, Money.
* You will not fight with ANYONE for a change.
* You will do a favour to your friends. They need not hear your relationship-woes crap.

I could have written a lot more on the said topic..but thats it for now.. I have an exam tomoro :)

'E' please 'Go'

Why is it that we alwaz expect the other person to say sorry?
Why is it that we refuse to see the other side of the story?
Why do we alwaz fail to see our own mistakes?
Why do we alwaz expect the other person to take the first step?
Why do we stop talkin to each other, even though it hurts so much?
Why do lil misunderstandings brew themselves into huge storms?
Why does a lil communication gap create a huge crack in relationships?
Why do 19 year old ppl behave lik 4 year old kids?

I wish i dint feel lik cryin over this particular spilt milk.

Welcome Aboard !

Yoohoo everybody! Guess who's back?!
ME!!!!!!!
(erm..ok ok)
Exactly a year ago, when i had actually started bloggin, i'd made a promise to myself that i'd post atleast once a month.. it really bugs me wen ppl cant find time for their own blog.. i mean, how much of your precious time will be wasted if u put up one post eh??
bleh, i proved myself wrong. Infact i proved to myself that 24 hours is too short a time for a whole day..even if i get 36 of 'em i would b unstaisfied.. gosh ther is just so much of work, so much of life, so much of everything. Sigh. i love my life.
Yes, college has started. Infact two n a half months hav already been utilized in lotsa useful n effective work. Please note that i havent used the word 'over' here, because now, just whilin away time is impossible.. i wud say i've learnt much more in the past two months than i did in the last two completely useless years.
I finally agree that i'm a goner wen it comes to time management. People all around me complain that i dont hav time for them n my college work 'says' that all the time. Its said, if u really want to do something, u will automatically find time for it. but wil someone tell me, that if u want to do so many things n there is literally no time for things lik sleep in your life, how in the world do u find time for other stuff. No no i'm not arguin, i'm just stating the mere fact i'm not good at time management right now.
This mornin, my uncle asked me a very interestin question, what is relaxation for u?
for me? *ahem* for me relaxation is no deadlines, no submission dates n no assignment backlog. If these three r out of my life for sometime, i wud really feel lik i'm on a holiday. but alas, i've chosen a field wher these three make my life.
*Ahem* here i wud lik to take Monty's side bcoz i completely understand what she's goin through. Both of us r accused of being..er.. 'busy'. We r on the same boat gurl ;)

But inspite of less sleep (or no sleep) n killin schedules, i love wat i'm doing.. if not here, i cant imagine wher i would be. In these two months, already there is so much that i never dreamt of doing, that i've done.. for starters i've started to adore some of my seniors totally. Most of the fourth-years and third-years r an inspiration to me n i'm awed by their work. Literally n figuratively.
I've started takin all the responsibilities. i've started lookin forward to goin to college each n every day n i've hardly bunked any class in last two months. This is quite in contrast to my behaviour in my junior college wher i never ever took interest in wat i was doin. i hardly attended lectures n studies was just a formality. hehe..its sort of a opposite for me..ppl attend junior college seriously n then start treatin degree course lik a formality. Guess i'm alwaz upside down :P

I remember the first time i found out about Architecture as a course. The first college that i wrote down in my list of impossible colleges was my college. It rested on the top (beatin even SPA n JJ collges) because it had just twenty seats n i was rest assured i wont make it. Now when i'm here, even though i hav to board buses at 6 in the mornin n sometimes get to sleep at 3 at night, i love being on the bus, i love being a part of everything :D *fingers crossed* I'm glad of each n every decision that i've ever made.It is a bed of roses and has thorns too, but I've finally found a place where i belong. Totally.
Thank heavens.