Dude. We don't live here no more.

I just happened to come back to this blog today after a very very very long time. Wow. It feels weird to listen to me talk again. I say listen because while I'm reading this blog, I can totally hear myself talking out loud about the things here. Its a weird feeling. Its like I know I wrote this stuff but it happened such a long time ago, it seems like it is somebody else's story, which I happen to know very well. Hah. Weird.

Anyway, I just realised, I've never mentioned it here, not that its a matter of life and death for anybody out there, but I dont write here anymore. I've moved to another blog, another life. Its not exactly anonymous but its still only available to people who actually care enough to look for it.
Hahah. I sound like Dumbledore in his typical "Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it"-style.

So yes, in case you're wondering if I'm dead or anything, I'm not. I've just moved on. Or maybe I'm hoping you would care enough to find me again. Or something a little less melo-dramatic than that.

October Madness!

I just re-read my previous post. I'm so bad at keeping promises, it seems. That was supposed to be my come-back post after a long "training" hiatus. But what i didn't know was that i would be taking a much longer break from this blog for something very drastic. The 'what' and 'how' bit shall be discussed later but as of now, lets just dwell on the fact that I'm here and talking. Sigh. It feels good to be back.

I've never believed in coincidences. I think I've spoken about this probably somewhere before in this blog. But its true. My belief gets stronger and stronger everyday. That coincidences are an atheist folklore. I believe in magic, i do. I believe in good things and good people. I believe that this world would not survive on mere chances. Everything is interconnected, inter-related. I believe that if you do good things, good things will happen to you eventually. They will, they have to. I mean, that's not why you should do good things but everything you do, comes back to you one day. I believe in Karma but i also believe in destiny and fate. I believe that there are things that are just meant to happen and they will.

I hope everybody gets a chance to feel this way. Like it was meant to be. Like all the puzzles of life suddenly make sense. Like you actually know when so many things fall into place, all at once.


And yes, referring to my blog title, well, this has always been my favorite month of the year and now I have more reasons to celebrate it.

P.S. This year has so NOT been The Year Of The Thesis. But more on that later. For now, I wish all of you a very Happy October! :)

...and, we're back!

Goood Morning Ladies and Gentlemen, Rise and Shine! And please welcome me back. Because after months and months of blogging in my mind, I've finally decided to make a grand comeback to my very favorite place in the whole wide virtual world. Also, there's a whole *new* and *shiny* feel to the blog with the new template.  And don't you judge me already. Read this first.

Ok first things first, I'd like to acknowledge all the people who kept telling me to start blogging again. Thank you dahlings, this post is for you.

 Second of all, as you may or may not have noticed, this blog is no longer private. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't write like that. Infact this was probably the main reason why i stopped blogging all together. Making my blog private was a bad decision and I've decided to undo it. There will still be important stories about important people here but I guess we'll just have to be smart about it. I welcome back all my readers, lurkers and stalkers. My blog would never be the same without you.

Thirdly, I need help. Like technical help. All my 'tech-savvy' friends, I want to change the url of my blog but still keep the old posts intact. Or maybe just make a new blog url and export these posts there. Its been done quite a lotta times but i never really bothered to find out how. We can save all the whys and whats for later ok, for now, help me, please?

On a different note, I opened my blog page today expecting to find my August 2011 post as the most recent post but was extremely surprised to find a post that I had written in 2010 to be the most recent one. I, with all my fast-forwarding and rewinding abilities, had written my resolutions for 2011 and set the publishing date for the end of the next year to review them. I had indeed forgotten about this post but was very happy that I had infact managed to fulfill all my resolutions for the year 2011. I guess that makes it a good year, which it really was. The Year Of The Training, as we all call it now. Ok maybe only six months of actual training but four months of getting-ready-for-the-training makes it a whole year no? Hmph, yes it does.

Finally, a very Happy New Year to everybody. It doesn't matter if people keep saying that the world will end this year. It won't. But if it does, make sure you don't miss out on anything then. That's My 2012 Resolution. To live like there's no tomorrow. To live completely every day and make sure that each day is worth being the last day ever.

Anyway, this year will also be known as The Year Of The Thesis, as I have to give a dissertation to get my degree. Six months of madness begin today. Oh dear god. Didn't we just go through that already?

On a brighter note, lets hope this year remains the 'Thesis Year' and other extra-ordinary events do not over-shadow it, as they are threatening to do so now. Cheers for the optimism, huh?


P.S. My second resolution is to stop sulking. Nowadays, I've become Miss Sulky McSulkerson. I sulk at every teeny tiny thing that doesn't work as it should. But then that's just the after-effects of being under immense stress. Its just a phase, I guess. Anyway, more on that later, we're happy today.

The Year That Will Be.

This is a post written in December 2010, hoping what 2011 would be like.

So its almost the end of 2010 and everybody is in holiday mood, making party plans, calling up long lost friends, making random resolutions for the next year, trying to get away from work. And I, my dear readers, am doing exactly the same things. I've been catching up on my blog-hopping recently and have realised that everybody has  already made resolutions and I'm left out. Now if you are one of those resolutions-are-crap/nobody-follows-them/its-a-waste-of-time type person then I suggest you leave right now because a lot of that is going to be discussed here.
Firstly I hope this year will be as different as it can be from last year.I hope this year will be much more productive for me, much more interesting and much more memorable.I hope I meet many new people this year and go to many new places.
I hope this year I go to a new city and discover it on my own. And get to discover more about myself trying to do that.
I hope this year I start living more in the present rather than dwelling in the past or fantasizing about the future.I  wish I could learn how to balance these three together.
I hope this year I become less fussy about things and concentrate on the right things. Major priority-analysis is required. Major.
I hope this year I learn something from my mistakes and dont make them again this year. I hope I learn to let go of memories that keep haunting me and wishes that I know will never come true.
I hope this year I hold on to all my friends and not let distance get in the way of our friendship.Also, some of them need a tight slap. I hope to give them that this year.
I hope this year I stay away from the people who live with the aim of bringing people down. Just fyi, I hate these people, I do, I really do. Have had the misfortune to know many such people.
I hope this year I let go of many fears that I have. I'd like to think I'm capable of doing that.
I hope I do some good work this year. Do some good Designs. Make something out of nothing.
I hope this year will be better than last year.

Current Interest.

Its weird when you want something so much, you don't really know why you want it but you really really do, and you're surprised at how much you want it . You know how irrelevant it will be, after a short while of time but still, just for the heck, you want it to happen. You cant understand how something that hadn't existed a few weeks ago is now the center of all your thoughts and how it is already becoming an obsession. Even if it doesn't feel completely right, even if it feels completely wrong to want it, even if you feel sometimes that it doesn't matter at all, you still bloody cant get it out of your head. Maybe you just need something to hold on to, so as to overshadow other things. Or maybe you just need a hobby.

Just so that we're clear, I'm not neurotic. Not yet atleast.

Private Party

Yes, finally it has happened.. this blog is now only visible to Invited-readers only. Sad but true. Since it will now probably have important stories about important people, its not very safe so have anonymous creepy people read it now and then. I know this means i'll lose my precious lurkers and secret admirers (:P) but this is important now. Hopefully some lurkers will come out and say hi now :)

First Day, First Show.

I've read many "My first day at blah blah" stuff and I didn't really relate to most of it. My first days at most places have been dull. Until now.

Lets rewind a little to 25th June when I was initially supposed to leave for Amd, and join on 27th. That was my plan. But as we all know, God works in mysterious ways and due to my brother's sudden illness, I couldn't go. So I was to go on 30th June. Fine. New plan. New excitement. 

On 30th, as I reached the airport in the afternoon, I was excited and a lil bit sad because i was leaving my city. Little did I know, my city was sad about leaving me too. So suddenly, it started raining like mad and my flight was delayed by three hours. Three. Freaking. Hours. Now don't get all judgmental and oh-just-three-hours-I've-been-through-worse on me. You see, my first flight, from Bhubaneswar to Bombay was delayed for 3 hours. My next flight from Bombay to Ahmedabad was still on time. So I was stuck, in my own city, waiting to be stuck in the next one. :/

Finally, after what seemed like ages, we reached Bombay. The Bombay Airport is so fab. Its pretty and chic and just very nice. So again, a four hour wait for the next flight to my New City. By the time, I actually reached Gujju-land, I couldn't even keep my eyes open to look around and check it out. 

So the next day, my mom woke me up (after like four hours of sleep) at 7 and I was like, screw the training man, I want to go home and sleep. But then I had to wake up coz there was definitely something wrong with my mom. She looked pale and was showing signs of pain. Not cool. After a while, we figured out that her disease was acting up and showing some weird symptoms and after an hour or so, she was crying out in pain. I was supposed to report at 9.30 but hello? There was something wrong with my mom. I was prepared to not join that day at all and go on 4th. Anyway, things worsened and we had to go to the Emergency Room immediately. At the hospital, after initial action, mom started feeling a lil better so they decided that Dad should drop me at office then. I was very shaken up, a lil teary and quite blank. Basically I had already had some tough one-on-one conversations with God throughout the morning. You know, stuff like, hello-how-much-pain-will-you-make-her-go-through, why-are-you-doing-this-to-her, can-you-ever-let-me-be-truly-happy type conversations. 

So anyway, i stepped into the office and it was unlike any office that i'd been to. It weird (albeit nice) sculpture-type things in the reception, the receptionist didn't know which date it was, there were all sorts of people in and about the lobby area. Finally we met this Senior Manager something who consulted our Senior Co-ordinater on phone and told me that i was supposed to be in XYZ's studio and i was to be shown where it was. Said a hurried bye to dad and then took the lift to the 7th floor. 

My studio is in the 7th floor. It doesn't have any jazzy name like the others "Planning studio/Urban Design studio" but it has one head. He's nice. He was all handshake-y, crisp welcome-y types. I was shown to my system and was told to sit. For some time I just hung around, acting all busy and intellectual. Then I just got plain bored. I was on the verge of recapitulating the events since morning when XYZ called me to his desk and started asking questions. He was quite nice about it. A little strict but nice. He told me that there will be a lot of ups and downs from now but I would have to keep the main objective clear, that I have come here to learn and should do that as a priority. He also told me to take five days to get to know the system and that I'll soon be okay here. I'd like to believe him. 

I just wanted time to fly so that i could meet mom and dad at lunch time. I wanted to know how my mom was doing. Although both of them had sent me messages telling me that all was good, (mom's message said "I am fine.") But still i had to see for myself. So i lunch time i asked my immediate boss, WXY  to go and he was like yea ok.So i went to our hotel, mom was better so i was relieved. 

I didn't want to go back after lunch. I mean I loved the office and the people were great and the work seemed to be just too cool (my studio people are working on an extremely high profile confidential government project that I'm not supposed to talk about) but I just didn't want to leave mom and i also wanted to sleep. Too much stress was happening. Plus I hadn't even met my  Senior Training Co-ordinator  (STC) yet. 

So i went after the one-hour lunch break and things seemed better as soon as i walked in the second time. I was a lil familiar with things and the people and the place already felt like I had been here since a long time. Finally STC came and he showed me around, I many of my co-trainees with him, we went to his office on the "H" Floor (Thats the main boss's floor, his name starts with 'H'. Fancy huh?). And he asked he questions that I had wanted to be asked the moment i landed here. Why here? Why Amd? Why 'H' Firm? etc etc.

 After quite a bit of chatting, I left his office and got into the lift to go to my studio. In the lift I met another co-trainee,A, who had gone for a survey and just returned. She was quite nice and we went to the "deck" that I had heard about so much.

The Deck is a balcony type thingy next to the conference room on the 7th floor. Its the place where everybody comes out to chill when you're feeling stressed, lonely, thoughtful etc. The most special thing about the deck is that its right next to the Sarbarmati River. As in, my whole office is next to the river but you can  stand on the deck and just look at the whole river and feel so very awesome. It was great.

I returned to my studio and found M working still working hard. M is another co-trainee and he's in my studio only. He's in 7th sem and has already finished 15 days of training. Everybody was making him do errands and just work hard. He seems nice and helpful. He told me that we had a training session in the evening after work and so I sent a text to my dad saying that I'll return at 8. 

At 6.30 in the evening I went to A's studio so that we could go to the conference room together. So she and the others wrapped up their work and we went to the conference room for a presentation. The presentation was by a senior architect at our firm, K sir, about one of his projects. He looked so young but told us that he'd been with the firm for 17 years. Dude, he was too good-looking to be so old. His presentation was quite cool, so was his project and so was he.

Every Architect at this firm is very cool. They're very talented people with zero attitude. I like the people here.They're very detail oriented and systematic. I love that fact. The infra is great and so is the work atmosphere. I'm a lil freaked out still. I've not been given any work yet but from Monday I'm sure I'll be given some work so I dont know how much I can cope up with everything.

Also, after work, we went PG scouting at night. There were basically three place. First place is right next to the office. Its where R di stays. I met her at the deck yesterday. She 's very nice but the room isnt. Its a lil broken and dingy types but still, its so close to office and other things are ok over there. Next place is a hostel where A stays. Its very very nice but is also unavailable. The owner said she'll tell us by this evening if she can do something and maybe, just maybe i'll get it after 10 days or something. Mom and Dad are leaving day after tomorrow so that means I'll have to be put up some where temporarily for some days. The third place was good but a lil far so I rejected that. Lets just hope I get the hostel thingy and I get it soon. 

So now, I work in an office and am going to live by myself in a new city. Dude. It almost seems like I've grown up.

I Know Who You Are.

Me : *a lil nervous* Hello, Good Afternoon sir.

Him : *neutral tone* Hello

Me: * Ok here goes* Sir, My name is Tejal blah blah . I'm one of the trainees at your Summer Intern-ship 2011 programme blah blah blah blah. More blah blah blah.

Him : *half amused, half smiling* I know who you are.

Me : * Flabbergasted*
         *Gulps*
         Umm I had sent you a mail sir, that there would be some delay in my joining date. *erm*

Him :  *Matter-of-factly* Yeah I think so. Yes.

Me : Oh you got it then. I was just calling to confirm. So I'll join on 1st July sir.*still flustered*

Him : *Calculative smile* (yes, you can make out different kinds of smiles over phone. At-least, that's what I think :/ )
         Yeah okay. No problem. Come on Friday.
         *Amused smile*


Sigh. Excerpts from my first phone conversation with my Senior Training Co-ordinator.

Not so soon.

So you thought I'd be gone by now. Haha. That's what I thought too. I was supposed to leave on the 25th but the day before that my brother decided to fall very ill with Jaundice and hence my mom and dad  couldn't possibly leave him suddenly so my trip was postponed for five days. All the tickets were re-scheduled and just like that, I wasn't going the next day.

Sometimes we think that we know what's going to happen, that we can plan ahead, decide our own fate but we fail to realise, the reins of life are just not ours to control. Like I've mentioned previously, I dont doubt the existence of a super-power, I just dont understand his ways.

So here's to expecting nothing and always being brave enough to let anything and everything go wrong. After all, In Murphy, We Trust :)

About Me.

Can you define yourself? Look at the extreme left upper corner of this blog and you'll find that I can't. There's no 'About Me' description there. Because I don't really think I know how to define myself yet. Of-course that's kinda lame because I know 'me' for the past 21 years and its quite peculiar to have known someone for so long and not know well enough about that person. But its true. I can't say that I'm this and I'm not that. Not yet. I may be this and that. Infact, due to this, I keep wondering as to how I'll introduce myself to people that I'll meet in about 10 days.

Should I be like- "Hello, My name is Tejal. I'm 21. Scorpio. No nonsense types. Also, a little weird and extremely random."

So, like I said, I'm leaving in 10 days.I dont really know how I'll react to things there.I mean I hope I'll be positive and happy and try to adjust etc etc but I cant really say anything for sure. Going and living in a new city all by myself is a risky step and I guess that's the charm of it. I really want to explore new things but mostly importantly I want to explore myself, how I'll react to the new things, leaving behind the cosy comfort of a protected life at home.

I don't know what exactly I want them to think of me. 'Them' being the completely new people that I'm going to work with and stay with for the next six months. I mean of-course, I'll "be myself" but its very difficult to do that, you know. Especially because I think I have many versions of me and that too,quite drastic ones. 

Sometimes I'm this docile, timid creature and sometimes I'm this extrovert, enthusiastic person.I also have this constant need to organize things.Yet my room is always messy. Like always. I love details. I practically plan everything to the very last detail and I'm so careful and concerned about everything. I mean, for once I'd like to see what being impulsive would feel like, what carefree-ness, happy-go-lucky-ness would feel like. Because I'm the opposite of impulsive and everything rash. I have this master plan for life and things that I'm doing just are means to get to the goal. So everything is complicated. But now, I don't want that any more. I want things to be simple. To live in the moment. But I'm not sure I can do that. In fact I don't even know how to do that.

In a way, I think I can relate to Monica. I have this obsession to be organized, to make plans, to make lists, to work things out before-hand, to categorise, to synchronise and to co-ordinate. Also, I'm bossy and "freakishly strong". I'm not that much of a neat-freak but then I stare hard at people who litter and my friends are tired of finding dustbins to throw their chocolate-wrappers in. Excuse me, but how can we keep the whole freaking Earth clean if we keep throwing stuff here and there and live amongst trash? I mean, hello? How hard is it, to throw garbage in a bin and not on the road or a side-walk? Anyway, so that's an irritating habit of mine. I also like to tell people what to do and mostly I'm right about it too. Sigh. I have OCD, dont I? 

But I'm also a a wee bit like Phoebe. I'm a lil strange, neurotic and can sing random songs at any given time and/or place! I'm high on life and have a flair for the melodrama. Hmm.

I read somewhere that if you're a non-smoker, a non-drinker and a vegetarian then you hardly have a life. Is that how people define fun? Then I'm totally boring. Lol. No drunken fiascos to boast about. I also happen to love my lungs a lot. And I'd rather not eat anything that was walking and talking a few hours ago. Thank you very much :/

I'm also, much to people's surprise (hmph), single. I think I've written enough about my single-hood and how I like it this way and the fact that I'm okay with it. Its not like the end of road, you know. Apparently, nowadays if you're single, some thing is wrong with you.Sigh. I'm perfectly fine and awesome. Thanks for the concern *rolls her eyes*.

So there you go. That was a LOT "about me". Now how am I supposed to fit in all this and more in a tiny little space and then expect you to know me?

.